Venom's Hold On Me

There are different kinds of freedom. I am more free than I used to be, but I am still in Venom's grip.

I still feel like ... like I don't matter ...

I still feel like I am nothing.

A waste of space.

And like all I deserve is to be hurt, like all I deserve is to have bad things happen to me and to be treated badly. I feel like I am worth less than everyone else, like I deserve disrespect. It eats into me like poison ... My enemy is strong. My enemy is stronger than me. Alone, I lose. The only peace I know, the tiny points of light across my sky of endless darkness ... that is where God is piercing through the darkness - trying to remove this shell of a feeling of utter worthlessness that surrounds me.

Strong chains. I am still chained in some ways. I just want to be completely, completely free. I am becoming more and more free gradually, but at times, I feel the darkness coil around me tighter ... it wants to keep on devouring me ...

I just want to live and breathe. I want to see the sky. I want to not always be a minus, a negative number in value. I want to be a plus. I want to be someone who helps make the world a better place. And maybe I ... small, weak, foolish, and afraid ... a total loser (I am) - maybe even I can do something to make sure that other people don't have to live like I did and still do. No one should have to live in such slavery to pain.